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I feel this needs to be said for myself or for those of us who struggle. It is easy to assume that someone else’s life is easier. This has been repeated to me often recently. So in my effort to be REAL and to assist and be assistance I am going to share.
This morning was a HARD morning. I started my meditation first thing as I always do because I know it always assists me especially when I’ve had a rough night sleep. Once our son was up everything was fine until it was time to get ready for school. For those with an additional needs child who have commented that your child’s behavior is constant, this was one of THOSE moments. That’s when it all transitioned. In order to keep privacy for his sake I will just say that I was late getting our son to school, something I was fine with due to circumstances.
By the time we were getting ready to go to school all three of us were frustrated. My nerves and hands were shaking and I felt very vulnerable and very human. When I arrived at school or son’s assistant hugged me. It was a hug I desperately needed. I sobbed in her arms as she told me sweet things like, “you’re doing a great job”, and “you’re a wonderful momma.” Thank GOD I had my sunglasses on…my eyes were full of tears releasing. I kissed my son goodbye and told him how much I loved him.
What I realized is that in that moment I felt weak, as each and every one of us has. But I also recognized my strength: I am resilient and I intend to teach that to my son and to those who come into my life and practice. We often neglect or feel uncomfortable having those knee weakening experiences, much less share them, but those are very necessary because they help us move forward. More importantly it also encourages others to be themselves and acknowledge that they are able to do that with you.
I came home after driving safely and again meditated. Now I set the intent for the rest of my day….taking each moment one at a time knowing I am in control of one thing….me.
If this resonates with you or you have something to share, please do. Message me, post or call. I am here for you. I get it. May my experience allow you to know you are not alone. And may I share my favorite saying, “This too shall pass.”
Life is not a test. It is made up of simple moments of opportunities that allow us to practice being our best selves. When we are not, that’s ok. Acknowledge that, you are human. Move towards what it is you are striving for until you are there. Remember be kind. Kindness begins with you.